Who I am

You know I have a journal that I write in every day.  When I get to sit down in front of a computer, I rarely think about coming here to my blog and updating it.  So, please forgive me for the very long time between posts, I have really no excuse.

I just wanted to take a moment though to write down a few thoughts and such that have been rolling around in my head for a few weeks.

I have been going through a bible study for the past couple of weeks that has asked the question, "Who are you?" and I have to admit that the question has stumped me for a while.  I know who I have been, who I show the world I am, but deep down, I have no idea who the real me is.

I know that I am John's wife, Trey and Amber's Mom, and Jerry and Sue's daughter, but other than that, I have no clue.

If it helps I know who I want to be.  I want to be centered in Christ and have all other aspects of my life fall in to place behind that. 

I want to be a Mom who never has to yell at her kids, who always looks good, and who looks like she always has it together, but I know that I am asking for perfection, and that is not something that I can achieve in this life, and you know what, I am ok with that.

I know that I want to be a great friend.  I want to be there for the people that I care about and always have the right answer.  I want to not be so awkward around my friends, to not blurt things out or interrupt. 

I want to be a better daughter, granddaughter, and sister.  I want to not be so very angry at the people I grew up with.  I want God's love to be able to shine through me and not have the bitterness and feelings of abandonment wash over me in waves when I think about what I have done and what my family has done.  I want my family to love me as I am and not feel so uncomfortable around me.  I want the closeness that we used to have, the sense that we could rely on each other for everything. I want a relationship with my siblings. I want them to know that in spite of everything, I love them.

I want, I want, I want....  yep sounds like a pity party to me too, and I just wrote it!. 

But, do you want to know what I do know about myself and what I cling to daily?

It is that I am a child of God.  I know that He loves me even when I hurt Him because of my sin. I know that he loves me for me, and that He loves me regardless of how I feel about myself.  I know that even though I sometimes feel as though I am broken beyond repair, and so very, very, very alone, that God is right there with me, putting the pieces back together and telling me that I am oh so very worthy. 

Yep, that is who I am.

To Miley Cyrus

Dear Miss Cyrus,


     I realize that you are probably not going to care one bit about what I have to say, but after what happened this morning I feel that I can no longer be silent.

     You see Miss Cyrus, I was watching a entertainment news show this morning as I was getting my children ready for school.  I have a 14 year old son and a 9 year old daughter.  As my daughter was passing through the living room, she happened to catch the news report showing you lighting up what appears to be a joint on stage at an awards show.  My little girl saw you do this and said to me with tears in her eyes, "That just makes me sad."

     You see Miss Cyrus, a few years ago she absolutely adored you.  She never missed an episode of "Hannah Montana".  She slept with a "Hannah Montana" pillow, underneath a "Hannah Montana" blanket.  She played with her "Hannah Montana" microphone, purse, and doll.  She loved you.

   My little girl and I had a discussion a few weeks ago about you.  She talked about how much she missed your show and wondered what you were doing now.  I told her that the music and other things you are doing now are not for little girls.  I told her to remember the "Hannah Montana" years, when you lead a life that was worthy of her love. 

     I look upon the things you are doing now with sadness.  The things you are doing now are not worthy of admiration by anyone.  I don't know what your beliefs are Miss Cyrus, but my family and I believe in Jesus Christ.  We believe that little girls should be protected and loved for the special and wonderful gift that they are from our Creator.  We believe that girls do not have to show off their bodies to gain the acceptance of others.  My children know that it is not what is on the outside that counts, what counts in this life is whether or not you lived a life that will make our Creator say "Well done good and faithful servant." We have nothing in this life but the blessings God gives us.  You have a beautiful voice that could be used to further the Kingdom, but you treat your God-given gift like a piece of trash.  I know personally I am nothing without the One who died to wash away my sin.  I have hope that one day you will understand that they way you are living your life is wrong.  I pray that you turn to God, Miss Cyrus, I prayed that for you this morning.

     In this world where girls are told that it is okay to bare their bodies for all the world to see instead of saving themselves for the man God chooses for them, I pray that you can change.  You could be so much more than you are now.  You could be a icon worthy of the love and admiration of my daughter again, I know you could.  I have faith that you can turn away from the evil things you are doing.

     Take a chance, turn your life around.  Be the person God wants you to be.  I hope this finds you well Miss Cyrus.

Sincerely,

Melissa Baugh

I thought we left the critters in the country!

When we lived in the country in Starkville, we encountered wild critters all the time.  It was not uncommon for Trey to find a opossum in the dog food, or to see a raccoon, armadillo, or deer wandering across the road.  Living in the country, you expect to see the wild creatures that share the beauty of the country with you.

Now, living in the city I did not expect to see any of the above mentioned critters.  But, yesterday, as the kids and I were making a ice cream run to Kroger, we encountered a armadillo!  He was just lumbering across the road as if it was perfectly fine to see a armadillo in the middle of Jackson.  So, I had Trey snap a picture of him and we continued on our way home. 

I wish I could say that this was the first time I had seen a country critter in the city, but, alas, it was not.  Trey and I encountered a herd of deer, and I do mean a herd!  There were more than six deer standing in the middle of the street in our neighborhood!  I also encountered a doe in my backyard, which is surrounded by other houses!  The deer are running in the middle of Clinton.

So, we have so far encountered deer and armadillos here in the big city.  If I see a opossum eating my garbage one night, then I don't think I will be surprised! 

I hope you have a critter free day!

The rules have changed....

My Family and I have lived in the greater Jackson area for a little over a year now.  To say that it has been an adjustment would be an understatement.  The list of things we have had to learn and re-learn is vast, and I thought I would write a few of them down.

1.  The rules of the road or more like guidelines, really.
     

•    If you want to run the red light, go ahead!  No one will mind!
•    If you need to be in an another lane, it is perfectly OK to use your car as a battering ram to    force your way into it.  If you happen to hit another car while doing it, it is an acceptable response to lay on your horn, and tell them they are number one with your middle finger.
• On the interstate, other drivers like to play a game where the intended result is to give the other driver a heart attack.  You see, you pull car close to another vehicle and then squeeze into the small spot in front of them.  If you only clear the other car's bumper by a few inches, then you win!!!
• If you don't want to miss your exit, and you have to cross 3 lanes of traffic to get there, go ahead, the other drivers won't mind.
• If you need to sit in a turn lane to make a phone call, it's OK.
• And, finally, you must drive at least 15 miles over the speed limit, or risk getting hit by the other drivers on the road.

2.  Going to the store is not an 10-20 minute car ride.

• In Starkville, we lived out in the county, and to go to Wal-Mart, it was a 10 minute car ride.  Now, we live less then 5 minutes away from Wal-Mart and Kroger.

3.  Store employees at a certain big bow store have a tendency to be meaner.

• Now let me preface this by saying that employees at a certain big box retailer that will remain nameless, (But let's be honest you all know who I am talking about!) have a tendency to be rude and mean at any store you visit, they take it to a new level at the Clinton location.  The cashiers are just plain mean, or they don't speak unless spoken to.  I have found 2 employees that work as cashiers that will at least speak to me, and I try to visit them when I go to said store.

4.  The breakdown of what major Mississippi college you support is more diverse.

• Because my family has lived in Starkville for a looonnnggg time, and my Dad bleeds Maroon and White, my family has always supported the Bulldogs.  To see someone supporting the Rebels in Starkville was a rarity, and I think most people who do so in Starkville, do it in the privacy of their own homes with the shades drawn and the lights out so no one knows they are home.  But, I digress, one of the first thing we were asked by our neighbors was what team we supported.  They were pleased to find out that we supported the Bulldogs, as they did as well. 
• You have to get used to seeing Rebel red and blue in town.  It is not something you see in Starkville much, but I have to say that I have finally stopped doing double takes when I do someone sporting the red and blue colors.

There are more observations to be made, but I will save them for another blog post.  Have a great day!!!!

The road of life for all of us is hopefully long and filled with very few car killing potholes, speed bumps and dangerous curves.  For most of us, the road is filled with loving family members that enjoy the journey with us, and from time to time leave the road for that big parking lot in the sky, where life continues for them without the pain and suffering that the road brings to rest of the family members left to navigate it without them.

My family suffered such a loss time two a little over a week ago.  John, my loving husband, lost both of his grandfathers in the span of a week.  The first, Grandpa Baugh, was one of the most kindest, loving men that I know.  He always had a smile for you when he walked in the door, and a laugh in reserve for the joke that was soon to follow the smile.  He worked hard all his life, and built some of the most beautiful furniture that I have ever seen.  And, boy did he love Grandma!  You could see it in his eyes every time he looked at her.  Grandpa and Granny have always shown us what a loving Christan marriage should look like, and I feel privileged that I got to see it.  Last Friday, March 8th, we buried Grandpa Baugh. 

On Saturday, March 9th, we got word that Grandpa Brummett had passed away.  After just burying Grandpa Baugh the day before, it was almost too much to bear.  Grandpa Brummett had been suffering from cancer for a couple of years and we all knew his time left with us was short, but it did not lessen the blow his passing made.  Grandpa always smiled and gathered you up in a bear hug when he saw you.  He loved to fish, and loved to take his grand kids and his great-grand kids out on the water.  Some of my favorite moments are sitting on the porch at his house and either talking about everything, or sitting in silence watching the lake back behind his house.  I could talk for hours with Grandpa.  He loved Granny and I loved to watch and hear the playful banter between the two.  Granny and Grandpa were wonderful together, and another example of a Christan marriage that withstood many bumps in the road.  We buried Granpa Brummett on Tuesday, March 12, not far from where Grandpa Baugh was laid to rest.

The absence of these two great men will be felt for a long time to come.  I take solace in the fact that they are in Heaven, with my Mom.  They are no longer in pain or suffering and that is good too.  The past two weeks have passed in a blur, and I hope that one day soon we all can get back to some sort of normalcy.

We love you Grandpa Baugh and Grandpa Brummett, you will be missed!

Greetings and Happy New Year!  Yeah, I know it is a little late, but, hey, better late then never!  We had a great Christmas here with my Dad and his wife, and John's Mom and Dad!  It was nice to spend time with family in our new home.  John cooked his first turkey and I have to say that it turned out pretty good!  Everything was great!

After Christmas, things started to get back to normal around here.  John and I decided to start attending a new church, partly because the one we were attending was just too big for us, and partly because we just felt like we did not fit in there.  The church we are attending now is smaller, and a lot more like Faith, which we like a whole lot more. 

The big thing on my to do list right now is finding a job.  I have already filled out a bunch of applications and given out my resume to several companies, but, I haven't heard back from anyone.  It is a bit frustrating, but I am praying that I find the right job, that will allow me to be home when my kids need me. 

Well, I guess that is it for now!  Have a great day!

     Wow!  What a year it has been!  Between the move to Jackson and trying to finish up my time at EMCC, the year seems to have flown by. 

     I am college graduate now.  I still have mixed feelings about it, but with a Associates Degree, I hope that some job opportunities that were not available to me before will be open now.  We will see.

    Amber, my youngest was diagnosed with dyslexia, and we are getting the help that she needed.  John and and I realized that one of the reasons for our move to Jackson was to be in the greatest place for Amber to get the help she needed.  God works in mysterious ways, and even though John and I did not know why we were moving to Jackson, God did. 

    Trey is thriving here as well.  He is happier here than he ever was in Starkville, and I am thankful for that.  To see Trey and Amber happy is the greatest blessing, that I am their mother could have asked for.  I did not realize how miserable they were in their school life until we moved them to Jackson. 

     John still likes his job.  He has days where he doesn't, but let's be honest, who doesn't?  He seem happier here as well. 

     Don't get me wrong, we still miss Starkville terribly, but it is more and more about missing the people we left behind rather than the actual place.  We have alot of found memories of Starkville, and we will keep those in our hearts forever.

     With Christmas just around the corner, I find myself reflecting on the past more and more.  Christmas is not the same without my Mom, and trying to find the joy in the season is hard without her.  As John and I were riding in the car the other day, we remembered the decorating of Mom and Dad's house, and how much at the time we grumbled and complained about having to do it.  We wish now that we could still help Mom and Dad hang the "landing strip" as we called it.  Mom's decorations got bigger and bigger each year, and people would come for miles around just to see what Mom had done that year.  Without Mom, we don't decorate the house anymore, and I miss it.

Christmas is not the same, but I do try and make it great for my kids.  I try to pass on some of the traditions that my Mom and Dad passed to me and we have a few new ones that have become our own.  This year we live in a house that has a chimney and Amber is very excited that Santa will be able to come into the house the "proper" way now.  I can't wait to see their faces on Christmas day.

Well, I guess I will come to a close now.  Have a blessed Christmas everyone!